Hilariously Cruel in Ithaca writes...

Dear Col,
I was wondering how big a persons feet have to be in combination with really small hands to win that person "little person" status?
Love,
Hilariously Cruel in Ithaca

P.S. Write me an email or we're through.
P.P.S. Your admirer says hi, with a really awkward half wave.


Dear Hilariously Cruel in Ithaca,

Well I don't quite know the schematics involved with the "little people" evaluation process. But I assume that their hands are half the size of mine making them around 4/5 inches. I imagine them much like a 3 year olds hand, kinda chubby and very small. Now I assume their feet are very little too because the rest of their bodies aren't that big either. So ifthe hand is about 3.5 inches in length I assume the foot it probably a few inches bigger than that making it around 5 inches. That's my expert opinion.

And as for your PS with having to email you. Please I'm the one with the website here with people writing in. You need to pencil in some time and call my secretary which just so happens to be myself because i'm a small centralized company. But you do the research and find my email. Like I have time for this "keeping in touch" business...please