Choices

DEAR COL,

I am 21, and my sister "Callie" is 23. I'm having a problem with her boyfriend, "Jared." When he comes to our house, he constantly belittles me. He calls me names and makes degrading comments about my intelligence, my weight, and just about anything else you can think of.

Callie is present when Jared makes the majority of the comments, but says nothing. I have told him in no uncertain terms that I don't appreciate the way he speaks to me, and it has reached the point that I don't want to be in the same room with them.

I feel Callie should be the one to tell him he's out of line, but she refuses. She says I'm being "too sensitive," and I should accept Jared because he's a part of her life.

I don't feel I should have to force myself to be polite to someone who obviously has no consideration for my feelings. My family is planning a trip in a few weeks, and I know Callie will want to bring Jared. I don't want to go if he's going to be there, but I don't want to look like the bad guy. What's the best way to tell my family I won't be able to attend the outing this year?

-- HURT IN SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

Dear Hurt in Sacramento, Calif.,

You know one of the things I really value is honesty. Don't pretend to be nice to this person who doesn't deserve it. If he's an asshole, tell him so. You dont have to necessarily fight fire with fire but you don't have to cater to this person. Tell your family you don't like the way he treats you and if they don't listen you could always go over the top and hire a private eye to supply you with ample proof of this mistreatment. If you can't afford an Private Eye, then just be one yourself. Buy a tape recorder, tap the phones, get a digital camera, and a trench coat. I bet that glasses and mustache disguise will throw anyone off so you better invest in that too.

Once you have the proof you have your case. If your family won't listen to this hard hitting evidence you have a few options. One is eliminate this Jared, who clearly sucks at life. You could go down the route for murder, or kidnapping, this way you really dont have to see him on this trip bc he won't be there - though i bet they cancle the trip after hearing the news. Be careful of murder though, technology now a days can get you with this DNA stuff.

The second option is to wait around for a Fairy Godmother to appear. This will take a whole lot of a-wishing and a-hoping. For further guidance in the matter I suggest renting and viewing Cinderella.