Chow down

dear col,

would you say the market for freeze-dried chow packs in central New York is growing? If so, what would you say the net benefits are?
Love,
Insane in Ithaca


Dear Insane in Ithaca,

I don't really know what the hell you are talking about in regards to this "chow" do you mean dog chow or the slang term for chow as in food. I want to believe its dog because you mention they come in packs but you also mention they are freeze-dried and that's more like people. Perhaps you are a centeur and are trying to mask as a human. Guess what? You can't fool me slick. I know you guys because I read Harry Potter, you look to the stars N junk to tell your future. So I'd say to keep checking out the sky and being all earthy. I'm sure you'll find your answer there.

As for net benefits, you are half human so you might want to keep that low profile as some companies might be afraid to let you hold any stock or banks may shy away from you having an account. I personally think its crap, you are still half human so you should get at least half a bank account but I'm not the one making the rules. Take it up with the gov't or your local congressman. Or better yet, run for President I'm sure you would be rather popular, especially if your VP could be a unicorn. That would be awesome. I'd vote for you.