Love is in the Air

So... um... somebody should ask you SOMEthing...

DEAR COL,

So, you're becoming experienced in hobnobbing with the stars and with getting yourself into the right place at the right time to land fabulous Hollywood opportunities...

Also, people from Ithaca have all sorts of success in getting DATES WITH CELEBRITIES (link to my date with drew).

So, can you give a guy some advice on how to attract the attention of a certain Miss Natalie Portman? I figure that living on Long Island is step one... ACCOMPLISHED.

-Patrick


Dear Patrick,

A date with Ms. Portman is within your grasp. See the best way to run into her is going where she is. So your next step should be to bump into her at the work place. You'll see to get onto the sets of movies she is working on. Or maybe even better, pretend you are a director from like France or something and you want her in your new movie. You could probably hire some friends or other actors to be assistants, rent out a room, and have her audition for you. Then she'll most likely fall in love with you.

Another option is to maybe set her house on fire and save her from it. And if you are on Long Island where she lives you could probably google map her house. You might want to watch movies like Backdraft or Ladder 49 to gain some quick firefighter skills. Once you save her life she'll probably want to chat with you and then WHAM falls in love. So easy.