Spider Man 3

Dear Col,

What's up with Spider-Man? With that new black suit, it looks like he's gone all Emo for his new movie. Does Peter Parker shop at Hot Topic? Is he trying to jump on the whole Johnny Cash bandwagon after the critical success of Walk the Line?

http://spiderman.sonypictures.com/

-MJ

Dear MJ,

As someone who has been a part of the spiderman series as a major love interest to SpiderMan I am saddened to hear that you have forgotten your comic book past. I mean I didnt even read the comics but even I know about the black suit. In the comic books Spider Man starts getting insecure about the way he looks and while channel surfing he sees A Makeover Story on TLC, he auditions and they make him over. The Black Suit, made of fine Italian Silk, was tailored to him to make him feel dressier but he feels out of place. He's not sure if it was a good idea to make himself over, he starts to regret this decision especially after TLC reruns only that episode God only knows how many times. It's like everytime you turn on the channel that's all they ever play, tht and trading spaces - which I used to be really into back in High School but then the thrill really wore off, especially when all the designers I knew and loved showed up less and less. Also I mean how many times can I watch people freak out over there new place?

So in the end he realizes that what he needed was not a makeover but a makebetter. And we all know the best people for the job are the Fab Five from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, only a bad guy has taken them. I don't want to give the ENTIRE plot away but he goes to save them and some crazy ish happens. It should be a cinematic treat. I'm looking forward to it - I just can't get enough of that Carson he's just hilarious.