Oh Bea...
Col,
Is it true the Bea Arthur is infact immortal?
If so, will she just continue to age forever? And is that why she is so tall, so she has room to shrink?
If not, why has she been old for so long? How does one start off their career as an old woman and twenty years later STILL be an old woman?
Lastly, could it be possible the Bea Arthur and Angela Lansbury are the same person? Or part of the same immortal cult?
Discuss.
-Merry
Dear Merry,
I can't answer your questions directly as I fear prosecution for knowing too much but let's just say a certain Golden Girl pay have several "clones" that were made along with several other "Dick Clarks" in order to be a part of the media for a long long time. How is this cost effective? Well there is a fixed salary and they know the ins and outs so you don't have to train some tool like Carson Daily. Second they are familiar faces that make everyone feel comfortable and willing to trust them because after all, "they've been around forever." - that isn't a quote that was me playing the naive parent who listens to the programs these people are a part of - if you dare to call them people anymore.
No offense, I love Bea Arthur. She's got a lot of manly features going for her as a giant old lady. Maybe she has that disease that kids have when they age really fast, looking around 90 when they are 12 or so, except sadly those kids dont make it to 13 and she clearly has. Perhaps in her sitcom years she traveled around the set and discovered a weird fountain of youth that doesn't really work.
To answer the Angela Lansbury question, absolutely. I mean after all Robin Williams was able to look like some old woman after putting on some make up in the hilarious cinematic adventure entitled Mrs.Doubtfire. If he can fool us I'm sure she can. Either that or she is just a variation on the Bea Arthur clone.
posted by C$ @ 6:35 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Dear Cols,
Today I was prancing about in a craft store when what to my wandering eyes should apprear but the worst fupa I have ever seen in my life. I simultaneously threw up in my mouth and yet could not tear my eyes away. There was a legless woman trying to get by in the aisle and it was a struggle to make myself move out of her way because I could. not. stop. looking. at. the. fupa.
Firstly, its owner was a large, mannish woman. She had buzzed black hair and a face whose features were hard to distinguish. She wore a black shirt which highlighted her glorious/terrible fupa, which was so ginormous it extended a good foot out into the air and then, oh then, a good ways DOWN as well. That things was making a break for it, if you will.
I finally broke off my gaze and wandered, bewildered, to this computer to ask you:
Where do fupas like these come from?
How can I not ever have one?
Will you kill me if I get a fupa like that someday? One that actually seems to be battling my body for independence?
Lovingly yours,
Your hearts truest baker's dozen
ps. that entire story is true, i kid you not, right down to the legless woman
jess
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