Mo Money, Mo Problems

Dear Col,

Can you spot me $5? I'm a bit short right now, but I'll pay you back on Friday when I get paid.

-Patrick

Dear Patrick,

Just because I'm rollin in the sweet sweet money from my non-paid internships Mon-Fri doesn't mean I can just go out to my money machine and give lots of it to you. Plus you live in NY and I in CA, so you forgot to factor in the mailing fee. So I'd really be lending you like 5.39 and we both know you would never really give me the 39 cents back because anything lower than 50 doesn't really count when paying people back. If it were 5.50 then I bet you would dig for a couple of quaters and if you were feeling generous you'd give me 6 bucks and charmingly quip - "Keep the change"

You can count me out of this business exchange. Why not just sing on the streets. Wear sunglasses and ratty clothes, get a cane if you can so people think you are blind. Simpathy money is your best bet. But if you want some serious cash why not ask people to donate to charity or steal from the church offerings when no one is looking.